Local ogre murdered in home invasion

Excerpted from the Kobold Weekly Times-Herald

Local ogre murdered in home invasion

(Outside Riverbend)
Hugh G. Ars, the popular local gardener known as the Blind Ogre, was reportedly murdered last evening by a band of robbers who forced their way into his home.  Several of his kobold assistants were found this morning, cowering and gibbering about several man-creatures who murdered the local ogre and many of his roommates, including his trained giant scorpions, two razorbacks, and an unknown number of kobolds. 

Robbery is suspected to be the motive

Many items of value were said to be missing from the ogre’s dungeon, including a glowing dagger he used to light his hot tub and piles and piles of gold. “Poor Hugh, couldn’t even see but he jammed that dagger in the rocks so his guests wouldn’t have to fumble about in the hot tub,” said Skiklcur, an area kobold.  “I know he generally ate his guests after their baths, but how many ogres are that hospitable?”  Many locals were visibly shaken to hear that the ogre was dead.  “It makes you think, don’t it?  If an ogre ain’t safe in his own home, what’ll become of us?” mused Svengy, an area goblin.

“They boined me bridge,” says area troll

Snotgurgle, a troll residing nearby, claims the same miscreants committed arson on his property shortly before the murder. “They was sneakin’ about me roof, and woke me up.  I thought it was just the local kobolds droppin’ off some trash in the river, but it was two elves, and a man and a dwarf, and they had nice pickled wizard I’d a liked to snarf, but they boint me bridge!”  Snotgurgle said he is not sure what he’ll do next.  “Prob’ly go eat some shepherds or sumthin,” he speculated.

“I’ll never forget the smell of the half-fricasseed dwarf”

Another area kobold recalled the adventurers making an earlier home invasion.  “The gang’s dwarf was set on fire, but that only made them leave for a while. Ooh, that smelled delicious.  But one of the scorpions gave a good poke to one of the humans, and they seemed to decide to leave to eat the body or something,” said Groogle, one of the surviving kobolds.  “It was so funny when they all scampered out, hoistin’ themselves up on a rope, that I almost choked on the baby’s foot I was eating.”  Groogle said he realized it was no laughing matter when the gang returned the next day.

“The dungeon just won’t be the same without that Huge Ars”

Several area kobolds have agreed to continue to farm Hugh’s garden and collect any snared animals and man-creatures that may be attracted to it.  “There’s still a hydra to support, the poor bastard.  It’ll be crushed when it realizes the ogre ain’t coming back,” said Groogle.  For now, he says, they are feeding parts of the ogre to the hydra, but several kobolds have already been eaten too and they may have to abandon the dungeon complex entirely.  “What happens if some hobgoblins try to move in?  Hugh could keep out other humanoids, but now we’ll be left to fend for ourselves, and no-one’s hiring mercenary kobolds now,” said Groogle.
“Especially not as bodyguards, after, um, this,” added Skiklcur.
–Ako Bold, staff reporter

This was one of the better session summaries from our C&C campaign, which we’re reviving.  The party had ventured to the Blind Ogre’s Bluff, which was probably an adaptation of a One Page Dungeon although I never “cheated” and checked which.  The party was still first level, so even a blind ogre was a serious challenge!  We did also panic and set a bridge on fire to prevent a troll from following us.  Good times.

Published in: on July 4, 2010 at 1:46 am  Comments (4)  

The URI to TrackBack this entry is: https://mikemonaco.wordpress.com/2010/07/04/local-ogre-murdered-in-home-invasion/trackback/

RSS feed for comments on this post.

4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. For the tale of an ogre(ss) who’s not blind, and is doing a lot better for herself than old Hugh, stop by http://delvers.wordpress.com. 🙂

  2. That was awesome.

    • Thanks! I wasn’t sure if it would translate very well (the guys who played the session thought it was funny but they know the dwarf got hit with flaming oil, my illusionist was mostly dead from scorpion poison, etc.)

  3. Very cool.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

This Stuff is REALLY Cool

Young scholars enthusiastic to tell you about COOL RESEARCH STUFF

Fail Squad Games

Tabletop games and adventures for gamers by gamers

Cigar Box Battle

An online resource blog for gamers and geeks focused on wargames miniatures and board games and role playing games

terribleminds: chuck wendig

Chuck Wendig: Freelance Penmonkey

Save Vs. Dragon

"We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different."--Kurt Vonnegut


Old School Roleplaying and related musings

Hobgoblin Orange

My return to the world of miniature figure painting and RPGs


The Book Reviews You Can Trust!

Dawn of the Lead

Miniature wargaming and the occasional zombie

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.


Miniature Motivation

Take On Rules

Jeremy Friesen - a poor soul consumed by gaming.

Age of Dusk

Roleplaying, reviews and associated paraphernalia.

Roll to Disbelieve

"We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different."--Kurt Vonnegut

A Book of Creatures

A Complete Guide to Entities of Myth, Legend, and Folklore

Making the Past

Diary of an apprentice swordsmith

Ancient & Medieval Wargaming

Using De Bellis Antiquitatis, with the odd diversion...

Riffing Religion

Prophets should be mocked. I'm doing my part.


An encyclopedia of the Cirsovan empire, thoughts on Gaming, Music and more.

2 Warps to Neptune

Surveying the Gen X landscape and the origins of geek

Inside the Shadowbox

Rolling the dice. Writing the words. Pushing the buttons. Eating the bacon. Smiling and waving.

Dagger and Brush, Daggerandbrush, dagger brush

Miniature painting, wargaming terrain tutorials, reviews, interviews and painting guides


A lair for gaming, sci-fi, comics, and other geekish pursuits.


I bought this stuff and read it so you don't have to.

Role Play Craft

Crafting ideas, options, and modules for your role playing campaign.

The Rambling Roleplayer Archives

This site is no longer being updated. Check out the new site at www.rpgrambler.com

Sheppard's Crook

The occasional blog of a closet would -be wargamer and modeller

10 Bad Habits

Probably not the Justin Howe you were looking for

The Weekly Sift

making sense of the news one week at a time


Just another WordPress.com site

Lost in Time

"What happened to Claw Carver?"


gaming, graphics, and genrefication

Stuffed Crocodile

Mazes, Martians, Mead


Role-Playing Games, Medieval History, Assorted Legends and Myths, and My Stupid Life.

%d bloggers like this: