Local ogre murdered in home invasion

Excerpted from the Kobold Weekly Times-Herald

(Outside Riverbend)
Hugh G. Ars, the popular local gardener known as the Blind Ogre, was reportedly murdered last evening by a band of robbers who forced their way into his home.  Several of his kobold assistants were found this morning, cowering and gibbering about several man-creatures who murdered the local ogre and many of his roommates, including his trained giant scorpions, two razorbacks, and an unknown number of kobolds. 

Robbery is suspected to be the motive

Many items of value were said to be missing from the ogre’s dungeon, including a glowing dagger he used to light his hot tub and piles and piles of gold. “Poor Hugh, couldn’t even see but he jammed that dagger in the rocks so his guests wouldn’t have to fumble about in the hot tub,” said Skiklcur, an area kobold.  “I know he generally ate his guests after their baths, but how many ogres are that hospitable?”  Many locals were visibly shaken to hear that the ogre was dead.  “It makes you think, don’t it?  If an ogre ain’t safe in his own home, what’ll become of us?” mused Svengy, an area goblin.

“They boined me bridge,” says area troll

Snotgurgle, a troll residing nearby, claims the same miscreants committed arson on his property shortly before the murder. “They was sneakin’ about me roof, and woke me up.  I thought it was just the local kobolds droppin’ off some trash in the river, but it was two elves, and a man and a dwarf, and they had nice pickled wizard I’d a liked to snarf, but they boint me bridge!”  Snotgurgle said he is not sure what he’ll do next.  “Prob’ly go eat some shepherds or sumthin,” he speculated.

“I’ll never forget the smell of the half-fricasseed dwarf”

Another area kobold recalled the adventurers making an earlier home invasion.  “The gang’s dwarf was set on fire, but that only made them leave for a while. Ooh, that smelled delicious.  But one of the scorpions gave a good poke to one of the humans, and they seemed to decide to leave to eat the body or something,” said Groogle, one of the surviving kobolds.  “It was so funny when they all scampered out, hoistin’ themselves up on a rope, that I almost choked on the baby’s foot I was eating.”  Groogle said he realized it was no laughing matter when the gang returned the next day.

“The dungeon just won’t be the same without that Huge Ars”

Several area kobolds have agreed to continue to farm Hugh’s garden and collect any snared animals and man-creatures that may be attracted to it.  “There’s still a hydra to support, the poor bastard.  It’ll be crushed when it realizes the ogre ain’t coming back,” said Groogle.  For now, he says, they are feeding parts of the ogre to the hydra, but several kobolds have already been eaten too and they may have to abandon the dungeon complex entirely.  “What happens if some hobgoblins try to move in?  Hugh could keep out other humanoids, but now we’ll be left to fend for ourselves, and no-one’s hiring mercenary kobolds now,” said Groogle.
“Especially not as bodyguards, after, um, this,” added Skiklcur.
–Ako Bold, staff reporter

This was one of the better session summaries from our C&C campaign, which we’re reviving.  The party had ventured to the Blind Ogre’s Bluff, which was probably an adaptation of a One Page Dungeon although I never “cheated” and checked which.  The party was still first level, so even a blind ogre was a serious challenge!  We did also panic and set a bridge on fire to prevent a troll from following us.  Good times.