Neologisms VI

It’s been a minute. Almost all my figures and gaming stuff are packed up in anticipation of moving, and my job has been pretty brutal of sucking up all my free time. But I’ve finally compiled a few more neologisms. The second was coined intentionally by a friend, but other two are repurposed typos, which are my favorite kind of neologism.

obscore (obscure + score) n. A composition by an obscure composer. adj. Relatively unknown, as a composer.  You wouldn’t believe the obscore pieces on the symphony’s program this month. This is first time any of them have been performed.

queerum n. (queer + quorum)  The minimum number of players required to avoid canceling game night. If John and Richard can’t make it, we won’t have a queerum and D&D is off this week.

sarchasm n. (sarcasm + chasm) The feeling of alienation that arises when one’s sarcastic remarks are taken literally. I can’t talk to him anymore, the sarchasm is too great.

 

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Just saying

I’m not one of those people who resist new words or usages just because they are new. I like neologisms. But there is one I’ve started hearing over and over lately that is absolute shit. “Impactful.” There are already dozens of ways of saying something has an impact. Many of them are a single word, so don’t say “impactful” is more concise the than the synonymous phrases it is presumably replacing (“has a great impact,” “is deeply affecting,” etc.). What’s wrong with “impressive,” “stunning,” “influential,” or “stimulating?” These all seem to be what people mean when they say “impactful,” in various contexts. Is it really helpful to have one portmanteau word that covers all those connotations?

If the idea of coining “impactful” was to reduce excessive verbiage of “has a great impact,” or “is powerful,” here’s another synonym with one fewer syllables: “forceful.” You’re welcome.

“Impactful” usually seems to be applied to an emotional or psychological impact, but there is something to be said for clarity. Is a meteorite impactful? If not, did you really mean to use the word “impact” in it?

Also, “impactful” generally brings to mind “impacted colon” or “impaction”: “Your low-fiber diet is impactful.”

Note that this rant is not specifically against the kids on my lawn, because I have heard this word being used by people of my generation and older. Although a few online dictionaries are recognizing this impacted neologism, it has not yet made it into the OED, so maybe there is still time to shame people into dropping this ugly coinage, or at least redefine it.

Impactful : (adj.) causing impaction. “The Adkins diet is really impactful.” Etymology: coined by bad business writers as a term to suggest “effectiveness” (“My impactful projects include…” and made popular by journalists with inferior judgment. Occasionally used as a lazier, buzzier form of “forceful” or “having impact.”

Neologisms V

Well it’s Friday and two new words popped up this week.

Troll call (troll + roll call): a census of nerds, geeks, gamers, and/or trolls.  “I sent out a troll call by email to see who’s coming to the D&D game.”

Crapbook (scrapbook + crap/crappy): a book of souvenirs and/or pictures of bad times. “I should put these photos from our stay in a Mexican hurricane shelter in my crapbook.”

Both were typos I made this week but as is sometimes the case, good ones.

Enjoy your weekend!

Neologisms IV

I think I’ve hit on my most useful neologism yet, especially for travelers and commuters:

Commodations: (kahm-MOh-day-shuns) (n.) The quality of local bathroom facilities.  (accommodations + commode)  “You spent a month in rural India? wow, how were the commodations?”  “I never eat at McDonald’s but they have OK commodations, better than a gas station.”

Another one just occurred to me one day at work:

Unonymity: (YOU-non-nim-ity) (n.)  A group decision made with no responsibility assumed by any member of the group.  Unonymous: (You-non-im-ous) (adj.)  (unanimity + anonymity / unanimous + anonymous)  “The committee made some unpopular decisions, but they were unonymous so no-one on the committee would defend the decisions to the rest of us.”

Neologisms III

found typos

knowedge (knowledge + edge?) : n. a competitive advantage gained by having special or general knowledge.  “Our firm has the knowedge and contacts to meet or exceed your goals…”

simpify (simplify + simper?) : v. 1. to simplify beyond usefulness 2. to simplify in a coy, ingratiating, or coquettish manner 3. to simplify some concept in a manner that annoys anyone who understood the original idea. “Do these instructions simpify things enough?”

literatire (literature + attire) : n. the uniform or standard attire of literary types or those with literary pretensions. “I don’t go to that cafe any more, I don’t have the right literatire to get served.”

invented

connoisewer (connoisseur + sewer) : n. 1. a self-proclaimed connoisseur whose tastes are not actually all that discriminating or refined “I always thought I had good taste in beer but it turns out I’m a connoisewer; I like Miller High Life as much as Pilsner Urquel.” ; 2. one whose taste extends beyond the conventionally accepted norms to include low, trashy, or vulgar forms.  “He’s a real movie connoisewer; he’s seen all of Arch Hall, Jr.’s films many times.”

Neologisms II

Here’s three more neologism I’ve collected lately.

susject (typo for “suggest” ; suspect + reject) –v.  To form a hunch or suspicion which is then immediately rejected. “When I heard they buried him at sea, I susjected that the story was a hoax.”

deceipt (typo for deceit ; deceit + receipt) n. 1.Written or printed evidence that a lie was told. 2.  The physical evidence of misinformation, lies, or fraud. “Your honor, I hereby submit the following deciepts into evidence…”  “I was amazed to learn that there was a second account book which provided deciepts for years of falsified tax returns.”

hypocracy (typo for hypocrisy ; from the Greek) n. Rule by the subterranean. “Since the Morlock Party got in office, there have been no more elections; it’s a hypocracy.”

Nota bene!  “Hypocracy” has previously been offered as a neologism for lying or hypocritical politicians, but I believe my definition is far more defensible etymologically.  Moreover, there is no need for a term for “lying or hypocritical politicians” when we already have the word “politician” which has exactly the same denotation.

Neologisms

For my (and perhaps your) amusement, a collection of neologisms.

As far as I know I made all of these up, either on purpose of from found typos by myself or others.

surmission (nouning of surmise) (n.)– the product of surmising, i.e. an inference based on scanty evidence or contestable premises. “It is my surmission that since everything is on the internet, we can cancel all our print subscriptions.”

obbreviate (obfuscate + abbreviate) (v.)– to obsfuscate by using an ambiguous, obscure, or misleading abbreviation or acronym. “I just got another memo from HR and they obbreviated so many terms I can’t understand what it is about.” obbreviation (n.): an obfuscatory abbreviation or acronym

disgussion (discussion + disgust) (n.) — to segue a discussion into a venting session about the state of the profession, the workplace, or coworkers. “We were just having a disgussion about the new tardiness policy.” Disguss (v.): to have a disgussion. “Yeah, I read the memo but I don’t have time to disguss it right now.”

suscitation (n.) (resuscitation – re-)– To give support or life to, by extraordinary means. “Our blog is now open for respectful and positive comments on this proposal. Please commence nose-to-anus suscitation.”

anniversity (n.) (anniversary + adversity)– the anniversay of a painful, difficult, or traumatic event. “We’re celebrating our tenth anniversity this week.”

tardine (n.) (sardine + retard; possibly also derived from tardiness)– Idiotic, sheltered, or ineffective office workers, generally used by management to disparage staff. “Send out a tardiness memo to the tardines.”

UPDATE: Apparently surmission has already been coined, almost six years ago according to the Urban dictionary. Shit.

And suscitation is apparently a real word. Double shit. I still really like disgussion though.